You work out of a Hotel?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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