So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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