I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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