This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
