So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
