wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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