Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
