I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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