I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
