Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
