Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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