oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
