Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
