You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just saw a hot homeless man
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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