here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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