i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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