Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
