Buhtt sex?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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