The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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