Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
