the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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