I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
