Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
