im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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