The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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