i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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