i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
My pussy is not your playground.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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