He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
