literally had 100 drinks last night.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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