i wish my penis had a tongue
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
