my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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