dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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