yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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