Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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