Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
where does the pee come out of this thing
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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