Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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