My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
