i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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