so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
