p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
