the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
