Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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