Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
