I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
