she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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