You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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