I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
