Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
