My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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