naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
