Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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